I think I'm going to never do this ritual again. It's a sick ritual and nobody should start their day with a heavy dose of bad news you have no control over. It's like BAM, al Qaeda is leaving video threats. BAM, America isn't leaving Afghanistan anytime soon. BAM, Man mauled by tiger at zoo. BAM, soldiers dead. BAM, not everyone is going to get flu vaccination. BAM, people are out of work and not knowing how they are going to support their families.
And out of all the news stories, the one most watch is David Letterman's apology for offending his wife. At first, I thought wow shallow America. But then I thought, yeah that's the only thing I can stand to read and watch at eight o' clock in the morning too.
I mean how to do you go out into the world confident, after digesting so many individuals who are defeated by circumstances. Really, I'd prefer to go back to bed than to read the news.
There was this one article on the Titanic Memorial, where they are going to have a Cruise follow the same route as the Titanic. At first, I thought ,this sounds interesting. Than, I thought, I don't know how I feel being trapped on a ship following the foot steps of a catastrophic ship wreck. It would be eery, fascinating, but too close for comfort.
That's when it hit me, it's all too close for comfort. I have family members that are out of work. I don't feel good, but don't have insurance to go to the doctor. Money and career choices are always, obsessively, on my mind. And, lately, I've noticed there are very few adults that I know that are working at their potential following their hearts desire.And, I live in a country that supports dreaming and pursuit.
Life happened, making their professional desires a luxury, and crap jobs that take advantage of you necessity. And yet socially, we recognize and honor the people that are using their gifts and getting paid for it. As if, there are some people that prefer to be your trash man or janitor, rather than pursue another career. However, being a trash man has allowed him to stay at home with his little girl when she gets off the school bus. I admire the people that have had to sacrifice what they love for the people they love. There's no ego in that, however that man knows his little girl can always rely on him to be at that bus stop. That to me is success.
Women in Rwanda, scared of getting raped, and at the same time pretending to their children that they are their protector. That's success. I wish their success wasn't that, but I find these woman much more powerful and strong than the woman I see myself becoming. I don't know if I could live in that fear and have any courage left over for my children. But women all over the world do it. My own mother does it.
I don't know what success is to me yet, but I do know I have the luxury for the time being to pursue what I am passionate about. I do know that failure is wasting that out of fear. I know that failure is becoming comfortable with waiting tables, when I have been blessed with other gifts. I do know that failure is waiting on someone else to do for me what I can do for myself.
I have this feeling that why do today what I can do tomorrow. This is especially true for things I hate, like laundry. Yeah, if I had a laundry room in my apartment, I'd love to do it. But walking a block with a heavy load, that you sometimes have to drag hunched over because it's too heavy... yeah that kind of chore always seems better fit for tomorrow. But, really, one should always do what they can as soon as it arrives, so you allow yourself more room to do more in life.
So Moral of the Blog: Don't read the news. Don't procrastinate. Don't force failure, fail out of effort.
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