Sir Boogie PICK-A-LOT

Today, on subway adventures, we have a special guest " Sir Boogie-pick -a -lot" joining us today. Upon first meeting sir pick a lot, I thought it might me a short pick. Maybe a little quick tug of war, while no one was looking. But, no, no such luck.

I enter the subway, looking around for a seat. Lucky for me there was one available next to a strapping young man. This young man wore designer lables. He looked around my age, however the mixture of gray in his hair made me wonder if maybe he was an older man trapped in a younger man's body.

I cozy on up in my seat, pull out my newest subway read, and take a deep breath. Aw what a peaceful train ride this is going to be, I assured myself.

Right then, out of the corner of my eye, I see the same strapping young man is violently picking his nose. As he starts his marathon gold dig, I quickly look at him, in order to make sure he catches the terror in my eye.

Now, it is one thing to pick your nose in the privacy of your own home, but in such close vicinity to me and my seat, is just unheard of and rude. I quickly gather my things and move to another seat, letting him know I do not approve of his behavior. When I move he stops picking, and I triumph, for I have made booger picker stop his cruel behaviors.

Aw, now it's back to me and my book. Until, again I am interrupted, because his arm quickly moves from nose, to lap, to now hair. He is playing with his hair, without wiping off the booger residue.

Now boogie hair is really a whole other story. Does he not know there are kids around. More importantly does he not know I am around. I want to scream stop, as he rotates from picking and petting his head. He teases me, I think he is finally done with this sick routine. GET HAND OUT OF NOSE! I mean I'm right here. Then she enters....

When I say she, I mean Heidi Klum herself. I mean this tall beautiful blonde that has everything put together, from the big bag to the tights to the slight heel on her tall boots. Her hair is perfect and she has her ipod in, she's probably listening to Chopin or Bach...She's just a well groomed girl. I bet she plans things and follows through with her plans. Aside from my personal girl crush on this woman, I realize this is the real test...
Will Sir boogie picker stop, when America's next Top Model is sitting right in front of him?

He makes eye contact with her. He too, notices her boots and well groomed everything. He nervously twirls his hair, there is still no insertion of hand to nose. Model Heidi isn't aware where that hand has been, to her he looks normal. Little does she know, that I know, we have a booger picker on our hands. No need to worry Model Klum, I'm already working on saving the world from yet another disastrous pick fest.

He actually looks really stressed out, that's probably why poor baby has gray hair to begin with. OH.... The booger picking is his nervous tick. Record time, it has now been five minutes and there has still been no hand to nose intercourse. I'm slightly insulted that he controlled his booger picking nervous tick with her, but with me it was full force, both hands in nose, non stop pick-a-thon.

I want to ask him, being insulted, why he stopped for her and not me? Story of my life. I'm the girl who dates the booger picker, because I realize that it's a nervous tick and love him for it anyways. Then, he dumps me. But, for the next girl, he wouldn't dare pick his nose in front of her and she tells everyone that not once in her life has she seen his hand in his nose. She doesn't even see him ever use tissue, because he doesn't have booger issues with her.

I want to tell him, excuse me, I'm worth it. I deserve to have you use tissue. I deserve for you to not have booger issues while I am around. I decide that I will not verbalize this, but he will know with my eyes, that I will not continue this subway ride with him and be the girl that understands that it is just a nervous tick. And, if I have to, I will get out at an earlier stop and walk 1.2 miles more, if it means I have made my self liberated point.

Of course he got off before I could prove my point. I never get the last word. I didn't change him. What did I do wrong? Was it the smell of work clothes, the coffee stains on my shirt? Was it the uncombed hair, the pen and paper that watched his every moved and analyzed it?

It's not me, it's him. Not every story has a moral, so sometimes we create our own morals, as to not make it a pointless adventure. The moral of booger picker train ride, maybe you should put yourself together before entering the world. We teach people what our standard of living is...If I let my flaws hang out, then it allows other people to let their flaws hang out. And, some flaws shouldn't hang out upon first encounter. In fact most flaws shouldn't come out until you are a long long way down the subway road of life.